Fantasy Self vs Real Self

Fantasy self. 

For so long I had been wondering what this feeling inside of me was, why I wanted to do certain things, but never really got round to doing it or following through with it. I always used to think that I was just a heavy procrastinator. Until I came across the term “Fantasy self”.

It blew my mind.

I’ll use an example to help you understand what I’m talking about. Sometimes I go into Boots or Superdrug, head to the make up section, see new products that I’ve never used before, but looks interesting or good therefore purchased them thinking that I am some kind of make up guru that 1, knows what she’s doing and 2, will actually use them…. LOL. I am neither of them, believe me. My true self just loves a flick of mascara, eyebrow pomade & a clear lipgloss.



I used to do the same with nail polish. Bear in mind that I never wear nail polish on my nails, apart from when going on holiday. Please tell me why I thought it would be a great idea to buy 5 different colours that would go into my then make up storage box and never see day light again.

Your fantasy self is someone that you think you would like to be, but truly deep down, you know you’re not that person.

Your fantasy self is someone that likes to wear bright colours and wear high heels, so you have a collection of high heels and bright clothing. But you never wear them because you actually prefer to wear trainers and a simple outfit. These unnecessary purchases are a waste of money and space.

Another example, you have loads of exercise clothing & equipment at home but you never work out or even make it to the gym.

Look in your kitchen, do you have fancy baking equipment, loads of pots and pans, cool kitchen gadgets, but you never cook and probably get take away most nights? Your fantasy self clearly is an avid chef & baker, but you’re not.



All of these things belong to your fantasy self. Your real self is a completely different person and sometimes having this fantasy self & vision can hold you back from truly excelling in what you believe in and becoming the best version of you.

It can go both ways, your real self can be someone who does wear bright clothing, but your fantasy self thinks you prefer simple clothing so you buy clothing that reflects this but they end up in the back of your wardrobe. Or you think that you’re really into trainers so you buy them, but end up wearing other shoes you feel more comfortable in so the trainers just collect dust.

Or, your fantasy self agrees to going to social functions because you think you’re a social butterfly, but when it comes to reality, you don’t really want to go and would rather do something at home or with your partner.

An interesting one, being an introvert in real life but your fantasy self is someone who thinks they’re an extrovert. This is super important because this is your personality. Be you. 

I remember being back in school, probably in Year 9/Year 10 something changed in me. Before this time, my fantasy self only liked popular music just to fit in. But my true self was into all different kinds of music and I was afraid to show this side of me, so my fantasy self took over. Until that moment in school, one day I just didn’t care anymore and listened to the music I truly enjoyed listening to. Since that moment, music has helped me in life in so many different ways.



What I’m trying to say, is that your fantasy self shouldn’t define you, don’t let it be something to hide your true self and potentially hold you back in aspects of your life.

I’ll do a post on de-cluttering your fantasy self soon. It’s such an interesting topic, I can’t stop here.

Do you have a fantasy self? Let me know in the comments.

Remember when it starts to get complicated, just think; Keep it Simple, Yeah?

Love B. 


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  • Dyonne
    September 18, 2018

    This is me – “Or, your fantasy self agrees to going to social functions because you think you’re a social butterfly, but when it comes to reality, you don’t really want to go and would rather do something at home or with your partner.”

    I don’t go out to socialise anyway, but my fantasy self will be making me think, oooh you need to socialise more, ohh you need to dress up and go out. But really I’m actually super happy being a grandma and staying home 🤣

    • Bianca
      September 19, 2018

      Thank you for reading Dee! 🙂
      Yes! Staying at home and chilling is the way forward! Haha x

  • Kim
    September 18, 2018

    My problem is I don’t know my real self from my fantasy self sometimes. I’m think I’m still trying to work it out😬.

    • Bianca
      September 19, 2018

      Thank you for reading my post! I totally understand that feeling! It takes time to differentiate between the two and working out who your real self is x

  • Woodrow
    September 24, 2019

    You could definitely see your expertise within the work
    you write. The sector hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe.
    At all times follow your heart.

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